New beginnings: love, lockdown and a baby
In February 2020, Laura, 38, fell pregnant with a baby girl. Her new partner Scott moved in and they entered a year of lockdown together.
Many of us have experienced how much lockdown has tested our relationships (I’ve certainly lost my temper over the little things more times than I care to admit). I wanted to find out how the last year has been for Laura as a first-time parent, caring for a new baby, navigating a new relationship and facing a global pandemic.
Due to some health complications during pregnancy, Laura gave birth to Sophia in October. “She was premature, and being in hospital with Covid [restrictions] was really crap, normally they’d let you stay overnight.”
Covid restrictions meant that Laura could only visit Sophia during the day, however she felt fortunate that Sophia was born in October because at that point dads were being let in to see their babies too, so they both got to spend time with her before they brought her home. Once Sophia was well enough, she was discharged from hospital. “They just kicked us out really quickly…with a teeny tiny baby that I don’t know anything about.”
Despite feeling like they were a little bit rushed out of hospital Laura said: “We had health visitors visiting, neo-natal nurses visiting, and I also had a midwife visiting me to make sure I was alright, so the support that I got afterwards was huge…I can’t complain, afterwards, I was really lucky.”
Laura told me how some of her friends hadn’t been so fortunate with support after they’d given birth, so she was pleased her and Sophia were looked after once they came out of hospital.
From 2019 to 2020 the charity National Childbirth Trust (NCT) delivered classes to over 90,000 people in the UK ‘to support parents through the first 1,000 days, to have the best possible experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood’.
Laura took part in NCT classes and found the biggest benefit to be the community it creates, “it’s just having those people that are local that you can go and see or chat to, or you can just message on a WhatsApp group that we’ve got. So that’s been really helpful.”
These classes were all virtual so at times (as I’m sure we’ve all found) it can get a bit awkward and you find yourself missing true interaction. “It’s sad that you can’t do swimming or baby clubs and the Zoom baby clubs are really crap, you can’t talk to people normally, it’s not the same… Just going out for walks is good…you would literally lose your mind otherwise.”
As a first-time mum Laura highlighted that “you’ve got nothing to compare to…we haven’t known what there’s been to miss out on.” Although Laura acknowledged that it would have been nice to see some of her wider family she said, “It’s the same for everybody isn’t it, so I don’t feel any worse off, it’s just sad I think.”
The past year of lockdowns has been a whirlwind of emotions for us all, “I’m half counting my blessings and half annoyed by it, I don’t know. You know me though, I’m quite laid back so I’ve tried to just get on with it.”
Laura said that surviving lockdown has been a good test of her and Scott’s relationship. Looking back over the past year she laughed telling me that “having a baby and moving in [together] and figuring it out was literally a learning curve, I’ve only found like five meals that he likes so far!”
Looking forward to the future Laura breathed a sigh of relief when I asked how she feels about coming out of lockdown: “So happy, I can’t wait. Even just to walk round the shops and look at stuff, I don’t even want to go mad and buy loads of shit, I just want to look around. Just get out and do more normal things.”
We talked about the possible impacts the pandemic might have on babies like Sophia born in lockdown, Laura thinks that “[Sophia will] recover she won’t make any head nor tail of it, she won’t know, it’ll be a tale we tell her in years to come.”
Feature image by Trinity Francis
Super interesting topic! It’s a feature I know a lot of new mothers will be able to relate to and it was great that you managed to get an interview. Well done!
Such an apt topic, espeically as I’ve seen posts lately showing babies or small kids seeing other kids their age for the first time outside in parks for example. I think it’s also great you took the time to have an extensive conversation with her. Her insights are, I’m sure, something that many new parents can relate to.
Hi Trinity, this is an engaging and intimate portrait of what it was like to become a parent for the first time during the pandemic. The photos really help to bring it to life, and it’s good to see that you are aware of the important of these visual storytelling elements and how impactful they can be (plus, what a cute baby!). I split up a few of the paragraphs wrapping around the pics and these can look a bit odd and elongated when compressed to one side by the images. One thing that I was left wondering about was exactly how ‘new’ Scott was as Laura’s partner: had they intended to have a baby, or was it a surprise (but one which thankfully worked out for the best)? I enjoyed reading it, though!
Loved this! It’s such a beautiful and intimate feature, I love how personal and honest the interview feels! Would read even more about motherhood during the pandemic or children growing up in lock down.